aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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