Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize