: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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