just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
