i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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