Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
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Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
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MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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