I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
