I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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