susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
