their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
