I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
