i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
