he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize