so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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