I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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