You're so nebulous sometimes
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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