You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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