i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
