I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
