Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
