My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
