it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
