Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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