weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
