You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
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When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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