you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My bed smells like the plague
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