Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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