Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
