I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Im part way to drunk.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
