I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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