I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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