I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Randomize
