: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
