Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Dude my mom stole all your condoms

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(727): View more from Florida

He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.

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(619): View more from California

Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!

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(862): View more from New Jersey

What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?

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