Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
