he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
