i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
where are my eyebrows?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
