Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
