Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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