I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
