Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
