I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
