when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
