All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
