Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

(202): View more from Washington, DC

you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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(202): I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god (202): you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary http://tfl.nu/3z0i

Replies (27) Good night (1393) Bad night (447)
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(503): View more from Oregon

New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.

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(503): New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/mtsq

Replies (9) Good night (2830) Bad night (852)
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(516): View more from New York

i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

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(516): i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car http://tfl.nu/yqns

Replies (27) Good night (1288) Bad night (5619)
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(765): View more from Indiana

let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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(765): let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment. http://tfl.nu/novi

Replies (17) Good night (7077) Bad night (969)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?

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(865): If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right? http://tfl.nu/p6zg

Replies (19) Good night (2800) Bad night (916)
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(904): View more from Florida

Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.

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(904): Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover. http://tfl.nu/qk4i

Replies (3) Good night (1512) Bad night (869)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up

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(662): i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up http://tfl.nu/hogm

Replies (5) Good night (628) Bad night (2048)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Parents weekend was a success.

(973): View more from New Jersey

Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...

(804): View more from Virginia

Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.

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(804): Parents weekend was a success. (973): Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success... (804): Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9gkg

Replies (4) Good night (1656) Bad night (593)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.

(647): View more from Ontario

Would it have been easier if he talked to her?

(416): View more from Toronto

Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.

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(416): Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled. (647): Would it have been easier if he talked to her? (416): Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing. http://tfl.nu/gzgt

Replies (8) Good night (3601) Bad night (575)
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(614): View more from Ohio

my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat

(614): View more from Ohio

repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES

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(614): my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat (614): repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES http://tfl.nu/9vr3

Replies (6) Good night (1839) Bad night (633)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.

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(724): I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror. http://tfl.nu/s26b

Replies (19) Good night (433) Bad night (1273)
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(+61): View more from Australia

The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.

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(+61): The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals. http://tfl.nu/0gao

Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (202)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.

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(+44): Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life. http://tfl.nu/3wcp

Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (581)
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(310): View more from California

Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.

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(310): Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me. http://tfl.nu/c54s

Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (357)
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(951): View more from California

Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...

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(951): Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car... http://tfl.nu/h8rj

Replies (0) Good night (260) Bad night (649)

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