i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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