Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud http://tfl.nu/jb23
  Replies (25) Good night (5131) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/yyq8
  Replies (68) Good night (4431) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass. http://tfl.nu/pyjz
  Replies (15) Good night (631) Bad night (5102)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  ...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?

  (585): View more from New York

  hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that

  (516): View more from New York

  is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): ...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year? (585): hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that (516): is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ? http://tfl.nu/juy6
  Replies (139) Good night (7814) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes. http://tfl.nu/gk7e
  Replies (15) Good night (1461) Bad night (3568)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick. http://tfl.nu/gyi3
  Replies (38) Good night (1065) Bad night (4624)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend. http://tfl.nu/x0gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1886) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship. http://tfl.nu/nv2q
  Replies (41) Good night (1193) Bad night (3092)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm http://tfl.nu/x3tv
  Replies (9) Good night (1669) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it! http://tfl.nu/x2pk
  Replies (9) Good night (1450) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely. http://tfl.nu/lx5s
  Replies (7) Good night (255) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore. http://tfl.nu/n09d
  Replies (2) Good night (331) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote http://tfl.nu/lx18
  Replies (2) Good night (254) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood? http://tfl.nu/xtqf
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (170)

Randomize