i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?