Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.

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  (770): I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass. http://tfl.nu/l3hc
  Replies (17) Good night (816) Bad night (4855)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi

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  (919): anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi http://tfl.nu/rjb1
  Replies (29) Good night (809) Bad night (4879)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you had an obligation.

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  (913): So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right? (314): you had an obligation. http://tfl.nu/0hhp
  Replies (20) Good night (8109) Bad night (814)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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  (513): We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case. http://tfl.nu/f3uf
  Replies (17) Good night (3905) Bad night (928)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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  (615): When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick. http://tfl.nu/ip3w
  Replies (4) Good night (2377) Bad night (852)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.

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  (404): All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen. http://tfl.nu/mg75
  Replies (2) Good night (2330) Bad night (857)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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  (306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (1012)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

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  (702): I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love? http://tfl.nu/7zb0
  Replies (19) Good night (4441) Bad night (744)
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  (925): View more from California

  My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage

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  (925): My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage http://tfl.nu/o4i9
  Replies (9) Good night (1076) Bad night (512)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.

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  (954): Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache. http://tfl.nu/s2zl
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (350)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?

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  (813): So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance? http://tfl.nu/tosl
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (413)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?

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  (207): Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note? http://tfl.nu/0uql
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (222)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her

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  (717): Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her http://tfl.nu/d0n9
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (570)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.

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  (513): It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is. http://tfl.nu/opxa
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (282)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.

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  (928): I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples. http://tfl.nu/38j9
  Replies (0) Good night (330) Bad night (448)

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