how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!