I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
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whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
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THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂