FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
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He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
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There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.