I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy