she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
