Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
