i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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