Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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