So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize