she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
