she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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