omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
