they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize