I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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