Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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