A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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