Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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